Tuesday, 29 December 2015

This is my original work i have created and written Title(s): Just drown/Don't drown. If you are unable to read the text, then it's written out below it :)

Just Drown
I will scream, and scream and scream
until i rip out my throat

I will cut through my veins so deep i'll get to my soul

I will swallow enough pills to drown in my own thoughts

Will you be there to save me from myself?
Will you come like you always promised to..?
Or will you prove that your words were as hollow as mine?

You were my love once, but you've turned into my darkest fears

I lost you, the same way i lost my heart
I was always trying to find it
But it was a hopeless journey

No wound i inflict on myself will ever describe the pain

I cry out, and scream even harder
Your name fades in my memories
As i suffocate in my words

My words were my last resort
But they only got in the way
And never across

I keep on screaming
Even though I've got nothing else to say

I'll keep on running
Although i no longer have anywhere to go

So should I just, disappear?
Would you ever miss me?
Would you ever look over your shoulder and ask "where are you?"

If it's all a dream
        it has to be a dream
Then please, wake me up

Where did you go …
I thought that I was the one who's gone, but I only got lost looking for you

Gone, everything is gone
Everyone is gone
I stand on this empty field

I look at my feet
And see myself sinking
Is it the emptiness that swallows me?
Or am I willing to disappear
In hope that you'll look for me in return?

No words can describe the way i feel
I'm not even sure if anything's still real

I'm giving up
My hope is gone
My life is over

If it was to teach me a lesson
I've had enough…

You were the one I thought could save me
But then, you became the one to drown me

Don't Drown
As I lay at the bottom of my consciousness
I hold my breath and wonder

Am I dreaming?
Am I drowning?

Slowly I stand up
My body heavy as if being pulled down

As I try jumping up
I get pulled down
I lay on my back once again

I look up and see light
I reach out my hand
As if to reach to it

I need to get up
I don't want to stay in this
I look down at my feet and see myself being pulled down underneath the bottom

Am I slowly dying?
Rotting away like a corpse

I go through life like a zombie
Is that all there is?

No, it can't be
I'm not going to accept this
I'm not going to stay in a place like this
I'm not going to suffocate here

"don’t drown" "don’t drown…" I repeat to myself as I slowly get up

I look up and the light gets brighter
The warmth lets me keep going
I jump once again, with the rest of my strength

I can reach it
I know I can
I will

I reach out my hand
And this time you were there
You are my light

You pulled me up when I was at my weakest
As you embraced me, I heard you whisper "don’t drown"

Hope you liked it, feel free to leave some feedback

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

A story/song i wrote not that long back, its title: locked up bird

Locked up bird
In a rusted cage
Cries on and on
Till its voice is dead

Will someone hear its cries?

Locked up bird
Weeps on and on
Until its eyes are dry

Will someone see its tears?

Locked up bird
Shouts on and on
Until its voice is hoarse

Will someone hear its shouts?

Can you hear it crying?
Can you see it weeping?
Can you hear it shouting..?

Does it get through to you?
Do you hear what it's like to die?

Locked up bird
In a rusted cage..
Screams on and on
But no one hears
No, no one hears

No one hears a dying scream
It keeps on falling
It's just like a dream

Locked up bird
With a dying scream
That no one will ever hear

It sits lonely in a dark and forgotten room
Covered in blood..
The floor is about to disappear

And the bird will keep on falling
Until it crashes

And breaks its heart..

Monday, 2 March 2015

I wrote this last night, when i was feeling a bit down, hope you'll like it. The title: At Night

"The nights are the worst"
Is what she told me...
I agree
It's at night that our minds are getting the most negative way of thinking
Is it because we get tired?
Maybe the effect of the moon?
It's at night that we get lonely...
It's at night that we want to be held the most..
It's at night that we remember our mistakes...
It's at night that our hearts start withering away..
Because at night the silence is the loudest
Our thoughts... Our fears..
No one else can see our tears
It's when we open up to ourselves..
Just so we can wake up with a smile
Just so we can survive until night
Because at night..
That's where all of us fight...

Sunday, 1 March 2015

a story, i wrote once when i was kind of depressed... it's title: Caged cages

Locked up bird, in a rusted cage
Cries on and on till it's voice is dead
I sit in this cage, with two other cages
Pointlessly and aimlessly
This cage is my room
My room that has me imprisoned
My room that made me want to die
Aimlessly getting up
And pointlessly falling asleep
My dreams
My stories
My emptiness
Are everything i have
But one day
One day i will say goodbye
And no one will ever hear..
My dying words

From this empty cage, trapping two more cages

Saturday, 28 February 2015

Another text i wrote, it's about trust, and the way someone uses words, it's title is simply: Trust

Just a word can bring someone to tears
Whether they're tears of joy
Or tears of despair
Is our, and only our choice

A word of hate can bring someone suicide thoughts
But a word of love can push life back into you

There are simple, but also difficult words
Understanding them is only the first step to understand each other
Understanding the meaning behind the words is the second
And the way you take them in is the third

It's these steps that make, but also break bonds

But what if there are no words?
A moment of silence can make your heart beat as fast as a speeding car
But then it can also crash

Looking into your significant other's eyes can make your heart beat in joy
Unless they're crying
Then your heart will beat in sorrow

And then you realise how it's like to be hollow...

Thursday, 26 February 2015

I wrote this story to share my thoughts about hypocrites, the title is: Blasphemy of hypocrites

Another day of fighting
Another hopeless moment
Here's another story that i'll be citing

For there is no point to stay
And my thoughts slowly start to sway
I have made no mistake
So what have i done wrong?

I aim to go with what i think and what i say
Like the bible said "reap what you sow"
But some people forget, that the saying is not just for show

How can people be such hypocrites?
They all know
But no one admits
Because everyone permits
Who's gonna stop a hypocrite? When they're all the same
And i feel so lame
To live on the same planet as all of them
Let's just go on with our lives and blaspheme

Although everyone has their own believes
They only turn to their gods for relieves
Because why else pray to a being
That only exists for as long someone's believing?

Eh, fuck it all
Reason to live? None at all
Giving up? Often the best choice
Everything seems an option for my suicidal voice
Kill yourself all by yourself?
Or take as many with myself?
The choice exists within yourself

I'll fill my stomach with poison
I'll fill my throat with needles
I'll scar my wrist with your name

Because in your name i'll jump of a bridge
At this moment my life goes in a ridge

But that's a good sign, right?
Because if it would be flat
I'd be dead
It doesn't matter if i'm sad

I'll hang myself with a strap
Or just stab
Myself in the chest with a piece of your broken heart
Because it's no art
To break someone
But to heal them with your warmth

Everyday is another battle
And i'm tired of fighting
But this is war
And i don't care if i'm the last one standing

So this might be a goodbye...
Or a farewell
But it doesn't matter anyway

Because everyone's gonna die.. And that is what i foretell.. 

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

another story i wrote, hope you'll like it :D it's title is: Miracle is dead

Standing alone...
In front of that colossal machine
You look up at it as it charges it's most powerful weapon
You look and think "I need a miracle to survive this one"
You see your life flashing in front of your eyes
You're sure you're gonna die...
You smirk "heh.. miracle is dead" as you say that, you start running towards the colossus
You pull out your heaviest weapon which was attached on your back
"aaaaaaagh!!!" screaming you charge at it
"this is not where I'm gonna die!!!" screaming that, other thoughts cross your mind
If not for that event that made everything like this, you'd still be sitting at home wasting time on the internet, or playing games
"i hope i survive"
Finally the colossus' weapon charged and it fires
Making a horribly loud noise, you swear to yourself that this is not the way you're gonna die
Jumping up, you aim with your weapon at the beam
"DIE!!!" you fire one shot, the last shot in your clip
The strength of the beam from the colossus is so powerful the bullet of your customized weapon is starting to fly rickety
You land on the floor and realise that your shot won't be powerful enough
"i should've charged the bullet..."
You fall on your knees giving up...
Your life started flashing in front of your eyes
"i've always been alone... So it doesn't really matter.. One person less isn't going to kill anyone.. Heheh" you laugh at your own ironic joke
The beam is there
Erasing you together with everything about you and your memories
Nothing left, not even your existence...
No one knew you even lived...

They just forgot...